Saturday, April 9, 2011

Redneck Date Night!

Well, I thought of acting like this was totally out of character for us, but as I sit here typing while wearing my bath-robe when I should be doing a million other things, I'm realizing that this is more typical than I may want to admit! In fairness to Shane, the really red-neck dates we have are usually my idea! He seems to think of a lot more classy ideas than I do! He aims a bit higher regarding our dates, but that means we don't get to go often enough because it's hard to pull them off. I'm more of the "Get me the heck out of here before I lose my marbles!" attitude. So here's a brief re-cap of our most recent "red-neck date-night". I must preface the things I'm typing by saying that I hadn't eaten real food for almost 3 days when this occurred. Don't worry, I'm not anorexic. No way do I have the will-power for that! :)I was doing the Isagenix cleanse and you take some supplements, drink some shakes etc. It was time for my first REAL meal and I couldn't wait, but I was committed to eat healthy.

I called Shane on his way home after I had a horrific day with the kids and I said, "Hey let's go out to dinner at Applebees because they have low-fat items and then we can go to Home Depot and buy the paint for Josh's room. It can be our date.". He's quite easy-going so he said, "sure". When he got home at 5:30, I went to pick up pizza and movies for the kids. Our cute, little small town movie store/variety store/drugstore was PACKED! We were all crammed around the little movie section and these kids next to me kept knocking stuff off the shelf behind us. I was patient, but though it was annoying as stuff would hit the floor. At least they were good-sports and kept picking it up! Well, I was sure surprised when they left the area and stuff kept falling off the shelf behind me....It was ME the whole time! My purse knocked things over whenever I moved and those kids were cleaning up after ME!!! Anyway, to make a long story short, it took me an hour to get back home to pick up Shane. Once I got home, the kids thought it was funny to not let me in the house and to threaten to, "call the cops" if I didn't go away when I rang the doorbell to get in. They were all peering out the little window laughing as I yelled things like, "Let me in or I'll eat your pizza!! Where the heck is your dad!?". They thought I was playing along and joking, but I was so hungry that I was about to start eating their pizza! Finally Shane let me in and I reluctantly left the pizza behind. (I swear, once I turn 80, that's ALL I'm eating until I die!). As we proceeded to the van, the two littlest kids chased us wanting to hug us good-bye as if they'd never see us again. The older kids chased them down while we shouted, "get in the house before you get run over!" and "Lock the top child-lock so your brother doesn't escape!". By the time we started driving, I was so hungry that I couldn't think straight. We got to Applebees, but found out the wait was way long. Shane was cool with it, but I couldn't wait. I decided that we needed to order Car Side To Go and eat in the VAN!!! We ordered and there was a 20 minute wait so I suggested that we go next door to the local thrift store so that I could look at cookbooks. Seriously, at this point, I was delirious from hunger! We wandered around there and I read cookbooks until our food was done. We picked it up and made sure we had our plastic forks and knives. Then I decided to drive to Home Depot so we could eat in their parking lot where we wouldn't be as noticed. On the way, Shane started talking about finding the Auto Body shop so I'd know where to take the van to get looked at. I exclaimed, "If you don't just feed me, I'm going to smack you! Don't even tell me anything responsible until I've had some food!". He laughed and said, "It wouldn't be a red-neck date-night if you didn't get rough!". Seriously, I love that guy and he cracks me up! He can put up with me at my worst so he certainly deserves me at my best! Another FYI is that we had Lilyanna with us because we would have been totally negligent to leave her behind with the other hoodlums. She was yelling at us to feed her by now (It was 8:00!) so we both climbed in the BACK OF OUR VAN on each side of her car seat in the PARKING LOT OF HOME DEPOT and ate our meals while she smacked us around between bites to make sure we didn't forget to feed her too!!!! It was awesome and so red-neck. The highlight of the night though was when we were in Home Depot shopping for carpet and paint and the carpet guy suggested we buy Joshua that fake green-grass out-door carpet to put in his room because we were trying to get the cheapest carpet we could and he heard us talking about how Joshua keeps doing science experiments in his room!!! We refrained from buying some, but just the suggestion was red-neck!!!
Shane decided at the end of the night that he's going to start planning ahead for our dates and that eating in the van in the Home Depot parking lot was too red-neck for him to call a "date-night!". I completely agree! That surpassed the level of red-neck that even I'm comfortable with!
At least it makes for a somewhat entertaining blog entry! I would LOVE hear some non-red-neck date ideas people!!!!

1 comment: